My mom has been telling me what to do my entire life. I mostly take her advice.
In college, I majored in what she told me to major in.
“You’re a good writer,” she said. “You should major in Journalism.”
I married who she told me to marry.
“You should marry him,” she said. “He’s the best!”
I had a bunch of kids because she told me I should.
“You should have a bunch of kids,” she said. “You’d be a good mother.”
Done. Done. Done. Done and Done.
The woman is a visionary.
And, what’s more, there is absolutely nothing too minor to advise on. Every year when allergy season starts, I get a full tutorial on how to use Flonase:
It goes without saying, there have been a few things she has recommended that I have stubbornly refused to do through the years:
-Cut my hair (the length keeps it weighted down and arguably less frizzy)
-Eat seafood (gag me)
-Invest in a really good bra (why?)
-Wear sensible shoes (I need the extra inches to balance out my hair)
I’m probably never going to take ALL of her suggestions, but Mom remains undaunted. She continues to advise with enthusiasm. And why wouldn’t she? Her success rate is about 97%. After all, I’m out there stopping at stop signs (mostly) and taking a multi-vitamin daily.
It doesn’t matter how many times I tell her that I’m 50-something, I’ve been married 33 years, I’ve raised 5 kids of my own and I know what I’m doing. I know how to be a person. My mom is unconvinced. I’ll always be a rookie in her eyes. Just one screw-up short of disaster.
The only thing that vindicates me is that my mom feels this way about everyone.
Yesterday, she was getting a medical procedure at the hospital by a locally renowned doctor that presumably had medical degrees out the wazoo. That didn’t matter to mom. The last thing she told this guy, before they conked her out, was “take someone in there with you to keep an eye on my breathing and blood pressure while I’m under!”
(Like maybe he was going to move a dresser and might want to ask a buddy to give him a hand.)
This doctor’s mature response mystified me. He didn’t jump up and down and start touting how many times he has performed a biopsy. He didn’t develop an eye twitch. He just agreed with her. And then he introduced his medical team.
Thank goodness for the circle of life. I now have daughters who clearly need my help and guidance as they attempt to navigate through life. Just yesterday I received this text from my youngest girl. She was out-of-town and needed help knowing what to order for breakfast…
I looked over the menu she screen shotted and texted her a TO-GO order for myself…
A few hours later, I had to dash over to another daughter’s house to render a decorating opinion…
I guess that old adage is true.
“A son’s a son ’til he takes a wife, but a daughter’s a daughter all her life!”
It occurred to me that my boys never called or texted me this weekend to ask my opinion. NOT ONCE. About anything. And the dudes aren’t even married. It rankles me to think of them bumbling around out there in the world with an utter lack of guidance.
Or maybe…they’re bypassing me and straight-up texting Grandma. After all she does totally outrank me in the chain of command.
My mother on the importance of wearing clean underwear.
8 thoughts on ““The Circle of Advice” (You Gotta Boss Like a Boss Y’all!)”
Great tribute to Mom. It’s exactly how she is… I remember the time I told her ” I am headed out going to play golf with a customer” not only did she remind me that Dad signed a lot of business deals on the golf course with his client friends, but that it was a deductible business expense!!!
Can your mom adopt me? I’m 52, but your mom looks awesome! (Mine lost interest when we had actual thoughts for ourselves, so I’m in the market!)
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What a great reminder of how blessed we are when we have bossy moms!! I’m sure she would adopt you. We could be sisters!! Thanks for reading and commenting.
You mean your sons aren’t advising you? I find that shocking. I am sitting in Houston with Hurricane Harvey rolling through and my son is unable to call due to his location on a ship in the Pacific. He is emailing instructions since he can’t call. By the way, his advice is excellent. If he were able to be here, I know he would, but roll reversal is still amusing.
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Omgosh – That is so cute! He obviously loves you. Prayers for y’all down there in Houston. We love the area and have lived there twice. Lots of friends and relatives down that way. Hugs!!
LOVE your blog! One of the very few I always read. It makes me laugh, cry, think, reminisce, and appreciate life all the more. I have 3 sons who also do not come to me for advice on things like your daughters do. I have no daughters, makes me wish we had at least one.
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This is why I write! You made my day!
Love the commentary from Doris👍🏼