I’m sick and tired of people suggesting that maybe I am not a “Dog Person.” This really gets my goat (making me a Goat Person?) I’m not sure there is even such a thing as NOT being a Dog Person. Literally everyone in the world is a Dog Person, aren’t they? Why do people even bother to go around bragging “I am a dog person!” If you are a person at all, you’re probably a Dog Person. I’ll go out on a limb and wager even your common everyday Serial Killers are dog people.
Quite simply, Human Beings are obsessed with dogs.
Which is why what happened to me last week was so terribly disconcerting. My daughter asked me to babysit her new puppy for the day. That’s not the really upsetting part. The really upsetting part was that she came right out and said that asking ME was her last resort. It seems that the Preferred Puppy-Grandmother (her husband’s mom) was out of town, so they were fresh out of daycare options and were exploring available alternatives. The only thing more humiliating than being picked last (I got a belly full of that in junior high P.E. class) was that she went on to imply that I might not be properly motivated or qualified to tend to the needs of a young puppy.
Does she know who I even am? It’s Me – Mommy! Her very own mother, for the love of God. I may not have been any good at _______ (insert name of any sport where a Team Captain was choosing teams) but I excelled my entire life at addressing the wants and needs of Small Needy Things, starting with her. One can only assume that this pint-sized dog will be exactly like my kids, only covered in fur and nice.
After I recovered from my justified righteous indignation, I realized that, if my children truly feel that I can’t be trusted with their pets, this may not bode well for my prospects as an Actual-Babysitter-of-Actual-Grandchildren down the road. So, I did what any reasonable Start-up Day Care facility would do. I obtained a copy of the “Activity Log” of one of the more established Hoity-Toity Baby Day Cares in our town and I structured my little charge’s day as similarly as possible.
Language and Literacy : We read “Polar Bear, Polar Bear What Do You Hear?” By Eric Carle. This helped the tiny Labrador to understand that dogs are not the only animal in the universe
We counted her puppy toys, concluding that she has way too many…
Learning to share is so critical to social development…
Physical Activity (aka P.E. Class):
We used a rolling pin in this engaging exercise of chase and be chased! A tail-waggin’ good time was had by all.
They picked their puppy up by 5 pm. I poured myself a glass of wine and looked back over my busy day. I’m feeling pretty good about things.
There’s no doubt that I established my credibility in several key areas:
-By demonstrating such an abundance of unnecessary enthusiasm, I feel that I’ve cleared up the “Dog Person” debate once and for all.
-By demonstrating my broad range of capabilities, I don’t need to lay awake at night fretting that my children won’t include me in their future puppy care needs.
And, as a bonus, I’ve proven I’ll go the extra mile to edge out any and all other Grandma competition, when the time comes…