I could hardly sleep last night knowing I would be making my radio debut this morning. I’ve never been a debutante* before, so this was heady stuff! I set my alarm for 7 am, as the Producer at NPR told me the show would air at 7:20. I figured that was enough time to make some coffee and get situated to listen. But it didn’t matter because I was wide-eyed and bushy-tailed by 5 am. It’s not everyday I’m on the radio, so I was pretty stoked.
I followed Jimmy out to his truck, in my Christmas pajamas** with a steaming mug of French Roast and we tuned into KGOU in Norman, Oklahoma. They were playing some type of historical documentary about Vietnam. It was informative, but…
“Maybe she meant that we should be ‘in listening position’ by 7:20 and the show actually comes on at 7:30!” I offered optimistically.
A few minutes later texts started coming in from friends and relatives congratulating me and saying what a “kick” it was to hear me on the radio. We had completely missed the broadcast – my radio debut. I did what any professional radio personality would do. I started to cry.
“I wanted to hear myself on the stinkin’ radio!” I blubbered inconsolably, “Is that just too much to ask?” (That’s entirely rhetorical – I mean, yes, apparently it’s just too much to ask – to hear yourself on the radio…)
Jimmy, The Crown Prince of Compassion, said, “Well, there’s nothing we can do about it now, and crying sure as Hell isn’t going to get you on the air, so let’s go to the gym and squeeze in a workout before Mass.”
Bewildered, I emailed the Producer, who did some sleuthing and emailed me back to say that Oklahoma operates 2 hours behind NPR’s schedule (even after factoring in time zone changes.)
Bad news/Good news scenario: Oklahoma is behind in something else and I air at 9:20!
When we finally did get to hear the interview we thought it sounded pretty good. We thought they edited the hick out of it. But then…because we had the link, we made the mistake of listening a few more times. We started to pick the damn thing apart. Why did I say this? Or that? A little nasally here, and babyish there.
And drawly..Lands Sakes y’all! Now Jimmy has me saying, “The Rain in Spain Falls mainly on the Plain,” 1000 times before my next speaking gig. It takes me a really long time to say that.
“The Rayun in Spayun (y’all) fawls mainlyyyyyyyy on the Playun!”
But I’m gonna keep on sayin it…999 more times to Jimmy.
*Debutante – From the French. Meaning “female beginner.”
** I’m not saying I’m a Fashion/Style Blogger, but the rule on Christmas pajamas is that you don’t wear them after Memorial Day.