I really think, from a public image standpoint, Jimmy has fared pretty well in my blogs, to date. It should be apparent that he is the Heartthrob of Many….
My Mom ( see blog #13)
My Sister-Wife, Hazel (see blog# 12)
Me (see the Hickey blog # 10)
A little background- As some may know, Jimmy is in the restaurant business, so it should come as no surprise that we met while working our way through college as a cook and a waitress. We were both 18. Jimmy dated every girl that worked at “The Sizzler,” before he asked me out. I waited patiently for my turn, which was fine, as I was busy planning our wedding.
As in every partnership, there are ongoing issues that need to be hammered out and negotiated almost daily…
Maybe it’s the cradle-Catholicism or maybe it was just inevitable, but I notice, that when communicating his “concerns,” Jimmy tends to opt for the Martyr Method. This involves prefacing every complaint with a personal disclaimer.
PREFACE #1: “I HATE TO COMPLAIN, BUT…”
This is how Jimmy lets me know it’s time to go to the Dry Cleaners or perform other sundry tasks, in which, by his estimation, I’ve fallen behind.
(We have had an ongoing problem with dry cleaning since Day 2 of our marriage. It would’ve been Day 1, but nothing was dirty on the first day. His mom sent him with clean clothes.)
When he leads with, “I hate to complain, but…”
I typically respond with, “Seriously, you hate to complain??? because, WOW- you are pretty adept at complaining. People usually aren’t quite so proficient at doing the things they genuinely loathe!”
It’s not that I don’t think I should pick up the dry cleaning, it’s the least I can do- But I’m certainly not buying that he hates to complain…
PREFACE #2: “I’VE ONLY EVER ASKED YOU FOR ONE THING!”
This is another popular way Jimmy initiates a grievance. He then inserts the ONE THING he happens to want right at THAT particular moment.
“I’ve only ever asked you for ONE THING and that’s some clean underwear when I open my underwear drawer”
“I’ve only ever asked you for ONE THING and that’s to not be late for church”
“I’ve only ever asked you for ONE THING and that’s, don’t drive around with the gas tank on Empty”
That’s 3 things right there…
PREFACE # 3: “I HATE TO TELL YOU THIS, BUT…”
(Sometimes Jimmy finds himself to be in the delicate position of being the Bearer-of-Bad-News)
“I hate to tell you this, but we are out of milk”
“I hate to tell you this, but your car needs new tires”
“I hate to tell you this, but the dog threw up on your brand new comforter”
“I hate to tell you this, but I weighed at the gym this morning and our scales are 6lbs under”
The truth is, I see through all of these, because, I happen to be a SEASONED EXPERT at breaking bad news to one’s mate. When you are despondent over having to deliver a crippling blow to your spouse’s otherwise happy day, it sounds more like this…
“Hey Honey – how was your day? Tommy was lead scorer in his basketball game this afternoon, I swung by the liquor store and got you that vodka you favor, and…you know that dumb ‘Arm Thingamabob’ that goes down when a train is coming? Well that thing went down right on the top of my car this morning!!! It left a wee gouge. It’s so tiny – you probably wouldn’t even noticed if I hadn’t mentioned it!
Want me to shake up some martinis?”
The considerate spouse will just tell it like it is, and chase the bad news with a cocktail!