There’s been some predictable backlash from the blog. Honestly, I’m surprised I didn’t see this coming. Apparently, my kids tolerated the speeding ticket blog, a “tell-all” about my skirmishes with local law enforcement, but they simply can not tolerate, and will not abide, what will henceforth always be referred to as, the “hickey” post. Just a few hours after I tapped on the “publish” button, the frantic reactions started pouring in.
“You have crossed the line”
Perhaps we should’ve sat the children (ages 28, 25, 19, 16 and 14) down a few weeks ago and conducted a family meeting. It could have gone something like this:
“Kids, sometimes in the Grown Up World, a Mommy wants something more. As much as she loves running things up to the school that you forgot, ramming pads into your football pants, matching up lonely socks and all the other wonderfully fulfilling things she gets to do… She wants more out of life….More than running to the store for dog food and running an iron over your khakis. Mommy wants to be creative! After all, she really hasn’t created anything in 14 years, since she created the last one of you. She begins to remember a time (yes – a time before you) when she used to write about things. She begins to want a Voice in the world. There comes a day, when the sound of her own voice droning over and over to you about personal hygiene, manners and character, isn’t enough; she begins to want a louder Voice, maybe even a funny voice, a voice she can share with the world – YOUR WORLD, actually…
(They exchange wary looks of disbelief and bewilderment with one another. Sure, they’ve heard of things like this happening in other families, to other kids’ moms…. They think they understand what you are saying…but what does this really mean? More specifically, how will this affect us?)
“Kids, – you may start to hear things about Mommy. Things from your friends, their parents or Facebook. And there might be some uncomfortable things about Daddy too. Things that will make you queasy. Things that may even be true. There may be some things about Grandma… Possibly, even mean things will be said about our dogs. Mommy is writing a blog now!!!.”
“This doesn’t mean we don’t still love you all and that you aren’t still the most important things in our lives. That’s never, ever going to change. It just means that YOUR WORLD , as you have always known it, is going to change a little bit. You may not feel as safe in your home anymore. You may find the need to hide your phones and delete your texts…Things will feel shaky and different. You might even, God forbid, clam up a bit, saying less, thinking before you speak, in an attempt to draw less attention to yourself. You may experience moments of self-censorship, born out of distrust; distrust for the very foundation upon which you’ve place your entire existence – YOUR VERY MOM.”
“But, we’ve done a lot of soul-searching about this and we think it’s the right thing for Us. We want you kids to hold your heads high through this. We believe that we will emerge a better, stronger family. If we support each other and believe in each other, we can persevere!!! And if, for some reason we can’t….well, you will surely be able to read all about it in your Mom’s blog.”
2 thoughts on ““You’re so Vain, I bet you think this Blog is about you” – Mommy and Carly Simon”
Hysterical! Keep ’em coming!
Ha! Love it! I have to ask though, was there ever a time you didn’t have a loud, funny, voice heard and appreciated by all? You rock! 😄