I’ve been a blogger since Monday and and its already Thursday!! I’m impressed with my stick-to-it-tiveness. Im really hanging in there! There’s only 3 other things I’ve been this completely committed to for this length of time. Marriage, Motherhood and Tennis. The first two I’ve been tempted a few times to quit, but it’s awkward and embarrassing to fail. The third thing, I could walk away from anytime I choose. (I sound like an alcoholic) The truth – it’s actually awkward and embarrassing to fail at tennis too…
People have been telling me that I should write a book. It’s possible that I do have a book in me, but, I’d never finish it. I’m not that focused. Ask my mother. When I was a little girl, I was an exciting and vivacious Project Starter. I’d get an inspired idea about something I wanted to make and go straight to my mom for funding. (Doris has never been short on financing/advocating her children’s creative spirit. In fact, Jimmy calls her “Omama” because of the large sums of money she will recklessly throw at projects doomed to fail…But I don’t want to start off politically offending people early in my blogging career). Mom would give me the money and off I’d go on my bike to TG&Y to procure supplies. About 9 years later when I moved out of my parents’ home and they were redecorating my bedroom, my mom called to tell me how many unfinished projects fell on them when they opened my closet. Bags after bags of unfinished afghans I was going to crochet, halter tops I intended to sew, lanyard key chains I forgot to macramé etc. etc. And-that’s just the tangibles- I also started a rock band that I never got off the ground properly and many other ideas, too numerous to mention, that never came to fruition.
But blogging – maybe this I can do. Seemed pretty low pressure. It’s my kind of endeavor- Be your own boss and work from your own home in your robe!!
I just went to a website, entered my email address, chose a password, downloaded a picture and presto(!) a whore was born. That’s not a typo. Blogging is turning me into a little whore.
When those “likes” and texts from friends started coming in, I saw my OCD kick in like never before! I started acting like a junkie. I asked my own mother 5 times to read my blog. She kept saying she had been busy. Not to be cruel, but at 75, a busy day is a trip to Steinmart. I finally swallowed my pride and told her she was featured in it. That reeled her in…. She promptly texted back “I read your piece Sissy, that was just real darn cute” it was only Tuesday and I was already up to 4 FOLLOWERS!!
After I made an adoring fan out of Doris, I started asking all my friends to read my blog. I was motivated to learn how to “share a link” and started bothering my socially reclusive friends who don’t have Facebook (and might not otherwise have the opportunity to read my prose.) It’s shameless. I’m like those multi-level marketing people who prey on their friends for business. I’ve started badgering my “contacts” like I’m selling Mary Kay and they have the only face in town. I also think I sound a little like I’m trying to be Jesus, texting people “FOLLOW ME!!”
So I’m going to calm down a bit. If you like the blog post, then follow me. If you don’t follow me, its possible that you’ll go to Hell. But here’s the really good news: if you throw me a party at your house and 10 of your friends decide to follow me, I’ll give you 20% of my profits. And then if each one of your friends gets their friends to follow me…you get the picture.