Man, did our family ever get riled up this weekend.  

It was all going swimmingly until Saturday night.   In all fairness, that’s usually when most weekends go to hell-in-a-handbag.  

-3/5 of my kids were together in New York enjoying one another’s company and watching a football game.   Heart-warming pics were trickling in every few hours.

-1/5 were in Texas overseeing soccer games and kids’ birthday parties

-1/5 were in Oklahoma also overseeing soccer games and kids’ birthday parties.

In fact, as I kept up with everyone by text, I remarked to Paul-Paul around 1 pm that all three of the granddaughters were napping simultaneously across three states.  In more than one time zone.  The world was temporarily at peace.  Or at least my world.  

But, that was very short-lived.   Things shook up around 5 pm when one of my daughters went through her kindergartner’s backpack.   That’s when she found the document that she then proceeded to text to the fam, that then got everyone oh-so-very triggered as we bloviated, blustered and prevaricated well into the night.  

I mean…it was the white/gold, blue/black internet dress all over again.  We didn’t exactly break the World Wide Web, but we did carry on and on about it.  Hell, I even dragged our waiter into it. 

Apparently, in my grandson’s kindergarten class, in an effort to teach the children their letters, they were given a worksheet with instructions to color various objects that started with various letters, various colors.  For example an object that started with an “F” was to be colored brown and an object that started with an “L” was to be colored orange. 

One of the objects on the paper was a “feather” that looked for all the world (to any normal human) like a “leaf” so my little progeny colored it orange and his teacher circled it WITH A RED PEN!!!

Well…

You can’t even imagine the brouhaha that was set off for our family, that clearly had nothing better to do on a Saturday night than jump to the defense of our favorite kindergartener. We passed our phones around to one another and texted this picture cross-country to every human being we know, querying them as to whether it was a leaf or a feather.

And you think Gallup polls the public?

My very harried waiter at Lake Hefner Grill was pressed upon to spare a quick glance and say it looked like a feather to him, but quickly conceded he could see where an innocent 5 year old with a limited world-view might think it was a leaf.  

Clearly sensing his tip was on the line, which it absolutely was.

The entire debacle reminded me of when this child’s mother brought home her very first “C.”   She was in the 8th grade.  Up to this point, she’d never even made a “B.”   She just plummeted straight down to the C-suite.  It was in Phoenix, Arizona in her Art class.   Ceramics to be precise.  The class made ash trays.  And, apparently this Art teacher found my baby’s effort to be sub-par…  It was the FIRST and ONLY time I ever questioned a teacher about any of my children’s grades.  

But, seriously…8th grade ash trays? 

I HAD to say something.   I believe the legal defense I used in her case was something along the lines of, “Art is very personal to each individual and beauty is indeed in the eye of the beholder, is it not?”  Or some-such. Who can remember! I prevailed, but I swear, I never got involved in my kid’s grades ever again.  

But this?  I gotta admit…I’m torn.  My little grandbrat is brilliant.  When he was 2, he had a puzzle of the United States and could put it together in record time while lisping the name of every state.  Cutest thing ever!  

The following year, as the presidential election results came in, he used that very same little wooden puzzle to fill in the electoral college – keeping the family apprised, as each state’s results were reported. Okay, I’m exaggerating. No one in this country understands the electoral college. Not even my grandchildren.

I think I’m going to have to let this go for now.   But I do agree with what my friend Mike said last night at dinner…

“It’s obviously a leaf off of a feather tree,” he said, as he signed the credit card slip, tipping our waiter handsomely.

Full stop.  

Like art, everything in life is in the eye of the beholder.  We would all be happier if we remember that everyone sees the world just a little differently from one another.  And that’s a good thing.  

My world is once again at peace…

But, seriously…8th grade ash trays?